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“…que sera sera.”

I’ve now got two young children. To be honest, that surprised me as much as anyone. As a life-long catheterizer, I’d had a whole host of health ponderings, quandaries, queries and downright never-gonna-happens. I was always told growing up, “No children for you.” Well I wasn’t always told. It would be a bit harsh to hear that daily.

But I was always dimly aware that children were probably not on the horizon – whether for biological reasons (if my dodgy innards were too dodgy) or for social ones (catheter woes bring dating disasters and limited opportunities). Yet I dated, and had girlfriends, and eventually a wife. Throughout all this, I knew kids looked unlikely. I knew, my parents knew, and my wife knew, because of course I told her, at the altar. (You have to pick your moment.)

So, having grown up with no bellybutton, I now have two. They’re just not on me.

With children, came a host of questions – and new potential embarrassments. I’ll never forget my then three-year old son and I using a public toilet. “Why are you putting that into you, Daddy?” he asked. In the next cubicle, I heard another young voice ask his own dad: “What’s the boy next door talking about, Daddy?” The dad replied waveringly: “Er... I’ve no idea.” They left in a hurry.

My kids are growing up seeing my condition as normal – though now we have to convince them it’s not as normal as all that. My daughter once noted, “When I’m a man, I’m going to have a tube like Daddy.” I don’t know where to begin with that.

I guess if I’ve learned anything from the mix of parenthood, urology and a stand-up comedy career, it’s that I’m now unembarrassable. The social perils of school life fade into obscurity. My kids could say anything now – out me as a catheterizer, distribute caths down the street, whatever. I will never blush. Challenge extended...

The opinions expressed here are of a personal and anecdotal nature, and are in no way a substitute for professional medical advice. You should always consult your doctor or nurse if you have any questions.

Adjusting to cathing can be tough but you don’t have to figure it out alone. Talk to a member of the me+ support team today at 1-800-422-8811 (M-F, 8:30 AM-7:00 PM ET).